Fight for your baby. I want to know if there are commonalities that us moms share. they dun even let me held my gal after my day of wrk. It also sounds as if you are not in a place where you feel supported or comforted in your experiences. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. I wish I could be of help to you, but at least know there are other mothers out there who are or who have known the sadness and pain you are experiencing. i relly need some advise before i go crazy please :(. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. I?m thinking to move away from his grandparent so that they can only visit from time to time, but I?m worried it will affect him. I am really shattered. In most cases, mothers return to work as soon as their child is about 5-6 years old. When my daughter was 7 months old I left for bootcamp, kind of my last resort I was a teen mom and couldnt get a job and had no money and the military provided us a secure future, but now I regret it. And yes, I think that would be great for many reasons. Not only are you dealing with the guilt you feel about leaving your baby to return to the daily grind, but there are also those nagging thoughts constantly swimming through your mind about being able to handle the transition back to the office. I really am. Do I leave my son and my partner so they can be together, or do I stay and let them make me feel worse. Kiss him and love him non stop. I would hate for it to be the opposite. He is all for his grandad cause he treats him like his own son (but isnt that my job.) I feel like shes afraid that everytime I pick her up Im taking her to do something she doesnt like or finds unpleasant. I am a social worker and therefore I know all about attachment patterns and I just cant work this one out. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. When she was 5 months old, daddy came back.the moment she saw my husband at the door was a funny one. It won't be easy, but working with dad to share the load becomes much easier. Secondly, your daughter does not hate you. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. Employees who have access to these benefits express 1.5 times greater work satisfaction and are 2.5 times less likely to miss . When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. Anyway, he will be one in a week or so and Im happy to say that things are back to normal and this seems like a distant memory. Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. But when I worked at being breezy, he seemed to want to be around me again. The situation must be painful for you. The more you as her mom can help her both with attachment as a young toddler, but as a child growing more aware of her history, the emotions and questions it raises, the more you can help your daughter grow up as a happy, confident child. Tonight, he did not want to come to me she had to push him on me! If he wasnt a secure baby he wouldnt be able to bond with other people. And when were playing all together on the floor he always goes to her over me. its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! I made a point to kiss him and cheerfully say things like Oh, you want to play with Dadda? Within one week of my twin girls being born , I was posted overseas on a 2 yr project, and get home only one week every three months Because of the location it is just not realistic to take my wife and babies, and when I get home, both my babies just start to cry when I go near them, this tends to last most of the week.. Apart from leaving my job, is there any advice you can give me. Its easy to be an outsider giving advice, but take it from someone who felt similarly rejected by her own child, I really urge you to consider seeking help and support from a source not on the inside of your situation. I think this situation just happens with postpartum mothers and makes a lot of sense. 1. Shes the most amazing thing in the world. After some time, if all adults involved really try to focus on what is best for the baby and put their personal feelings aside, things will eventually turn out well. My mom says this is wrong and that i should just let her go. Lots of quiet, cuddly games with your little one on your lap. I dont know what to do. So worried he is forgeting about me. in the meantime I feel like a monster that frightens her ??! Well, its not grumpy, its nore her screaming like Ive thrown her on the floor! If your baby was nursing well and suddenly refuses your breast, this may be what some call a . the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. She was with me mornings and nights. Baby swim classes, where the parent is with the child in water (if the baby likes it, of course) is a wonderful way to have fun together, for example.). More Like This please help im worried that she might endup hating him. Especially when you have a insane father constantly making complaints and accusations your way just to get the child from you. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. Its so disheartening and hurtful, but Im glad (how bad is that?!) Perhaps though your sense of defeat is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. I am so sad. So he cant do whatever he wants when Im home. Just wanted to let you know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience with our little boy. If a baby won't take a bottle, and is becoming anxious even at the sight of one, it may help to disguise it in some way. While maternity leave policies last 8-12 weeks, that would mean that at just 2-3 months in, new moms are returning to work with potentially undiagnosed postpartum anxiety or depression and may not know it. Your little one will still be provided with consistent, loving care. She preferred me up until recently. 1. I had him when I was 38 yrs old and have been a hands on mum all his life. (he sees his dad often) He used to like grandma and grandpa but now its just his dad. But the best thing you can do is to NOT take it personal. Hi! Consider your overall financial picture. Well, they dont know each other yet! Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. If she can crawl, chasing each other might be fun. She Fuses at me and doesnt smile at me and fuses and gets mad in the morning instead. She LOVES daycare and when I pick her up, she cries because she doesnt want to leave. going to bed, having her diaper changed, eating (weve had problems with her wanting to eatanother issue entirely), etc.). I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. She has always been a daddys girl and he is her main attachment figure despite not being her main carer. I am a stay at home mom, I give her stimulation when she wants it by giving her tummy time or playtime with me or her bouncy. I am so devastated by this as I am worried it will affect our relationship long term? It has shown to be a very effective tool to make children both bond and co-operate instead of challenging us and our rules. Skin contact is great for bonding. I am sure she wants the best for her daughter, i.e. A wonderful thing to do in periods like this, is to spend time alone with the child. A massage, a warm bath, movie night with your partner: a little downtime goes a long way. I really dont know :-( hope it will change in future.. :-( A Big Hug goes to all those mummies and daddies who are in the same boat as me! Your mom can also try to stir up some excitement around you coming home from school; looking out of the window with your daughter here comes Mommy! If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. Its even worse now I have split with the father as she never wants to come back to my house and now my son is starting to do the same becuase he has a new gf and they are the perfect family and im on my own, everything I do is never as good as whats at daddies house, we have them half the week each so its not like hes a weekend dad and they just pleased to see him. Find reliable childcare Getting childcare is one of the toughest aspects of going back to work. Why is a Toddler rejecting Mom after a new baby arrives? You are and always will be their only mother. Near the end of your pregnancy, talk to your HR department or supervisor about your return to work plan. I play with, love and nurture my 17 month old boy but he doesnt seem to care about me. I kind of gave up trying to figure it out, and just really tried to just remain bright and happy and easy going. I am so sorry to hear about your situation and your pain. Quote #4. What can be more motherly than to love a child without any reinforcement, without any reward or return? I have read all of the posts and it is kind of a double edge sword to say that I am glad that other people are or have gone through the same things that I am going through. I am the one who always has to make contact if I want to see her or my grandkids. I just want to cry and cry. I get upset and I feel so rejected, It hurts to feel unloved. He squirms out of my arms and nearly vaults himself into my husbands arms when my husband walks past us. So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. One explanation to why your daughters reaction is so strong might be that 9 months is a sensitive age. If she is with me then she walks a way the moment she hears or sees her grandma. It doesnt work! they will be happy, more emotionally-healthy adults because of the love we giveeven if they seem to ignore it now, they need us. what am I to do !! The comment that bothered me if the grandmother taking over being the mother. Since about 3 months old she prefers daddy over mommy but now it is to the point where she tells me I dont love you I love my daddy. She pushes me away and wants nothing to do with me. In addition, you could leave a used t-shirt them, to be used for naptime, for example, so your smell is as familiar as possible. Well, disobeing the court orders she left with the child to another state without any communication or notice of where she was going. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . Please help me out of this. I have a 7 month old son and since he was born his grandmother(dads mom) has been obsessed. I say with us because me and her father are engaged and living together. Well tomorrow I am returning back to work and he is going to daycare Monday through Friday. But I dont get a look in. I have been feeling so down recently to see that he doesnt seem to recognise me and prefer my mother in law more than me. Parental separation anxiety is normal, especially when going back to work after maternity leave. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? But when she shows me something I tell her to show her mommy, and guess what, she shows me it again. My husbands dad invited us to go to Branson and get away before my Husband starts the engineering program at K-State. Since leaving home 2 go 2 Asia when our baby was 7 months, our internet routine continued. Now at 10 months old, she treated me with the same fondness and love that she had showed my husband during her early months. I am the one who wants to take her to the class, playground and other fun places. It breaks my heart when she cries and kicks when daddy leaves her alone with me. I have a 2 year old daughter. i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. Thank you SO much for writing about this!! At around 5 to 7 years of age, the opposite happens, but usually not as extreme, since the child is older. There is simply no replacement for a mother, period. He will be picked up and carried around for the smallest incident. I have been with my 4 month old since birth and she recently started to stop laughing at me or anything I do and I try so hard. Then, regardless of if she wants to go to dad, grandma or the neighbour later on, you can hopefully rest in the fact that the two of you have had a fun, loving day together. He will go to Nursery without a second glance and to any family or friend without so much as a look of concern over to me. I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). I work very part time 3 days a week for a total of 16 hours. My partner thinks Im being ridiculous, but thats easy for the preferred parent to think, Im sure. If your baby is upset, she will likely begin to calm down. I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. But I believe it can be solved. All she needs is her grandparents or father. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! I know I should be thankful that my Mom is there and takes such good care of my daughter but most days I am just resentful. Leaning back while breastfeeding helps slow the flow. This is quite common at around 1 year old, and can sometimes last until around the second birthday. I have a 11 month old little girl. But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. She even slapped me in the face. For a few weeks before my mat leave ended, I let myself soak in all the pre-emptive nostalgia, mourning all of our "lasts": our last mat-leave breakfast, our last mat-leave walk, our last mat-leave . Can I give you a challenge? Bonding can start at any time, even at 15 months old, even though it can take a bit longer to establish at that point. but, really, we'll be alright. I give him 100000 kisses daily and hugs to kind of make up for it. If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! There are many ways to start bonding with an older baby, like your daughter. My Postpartum Depression Made Me Reject My Baby. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. I am searching high and low for a place away from her. My mom stayed with me for the first four months to help me out. I did not breastfeed her as a baby. I mean, she barely gets to see you and she is used to you maybe so she doesnt really know what else to do. If you buy something through a link on this site, I may receive a small commission. this time we were alone in the room. i want to know if this is normal or just a phrae shes going through. Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. Just 15 minutes of fun interaction. in return they are telling me dun seperate them from my child wat can i do . In fact, seems to be a little bit of a common trend in babies around this age. If there is anything I can do to change this me let me know?I love my son so much I dont know what I did to him for him to start this. Dont worry. Do a couple of test runs before going back to work after baby. At around 3 to 5 years of age, children tend to become very attached to the parent of opposite gender. Some moms return to work just a few weeks after having a baby, while others take up to a year (or longer) of maternity leave. Recently, its really been getting to me. Please, ask for help. 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